General Thoughts

Meeting the In Laws

So I went to cali and got to meet all my mexican in laws. It was interesting. The food was great. So good in fact that I think authentic mexican food has surpassed my love for subcontinental cuisine. The visit made me want to learn spanish, so I have enrolled and insha’Allah will learn the language soon. My father in law loves me, shockingly. He has this weird habit of feeding everyone the way he wants to feed them. I had an awesome dish: Cow tongue tacos - they were fabulous! Some of my wife’s uncles liked me, particularly the one who loves guns Others despise me for not being “their” type I suppose: Mexican and catholic. In fact, one got drunk and started harassing my wife while I was out in the car. Hopefully the next time I see him he and I will have a nice conversation on not being a saying what you really want to say to people’s faces. Overall, my experience was cool. I was amazed at how submissive mexican wives are! In fact, I would venture to say that they may be as submissive as the bedouin women of the levant!

Visited Spots and other things

We went to San Francisco and walked on the very cold and wet golden gate bridge. We travelled to Fremont and visited the Rumi Bookstore - one of the few stores I have ever felt barakah in. We went to Anaheim and ate at Al-Andaluz, a very authentic arab restaraunt that had just opened. While there we also went to Jarir bookstore - the largest selection of arabic books in america! Awesome it was! I never wanted to leave. Jarir is a nice brother as well!

I had the pleasure of getting to chill with Abu Usaama and br. Ammar in LA. In fact we ate halal chinese - it was “ok”. The brothers are very quiet- as I suspected! Unfortunately I didn’t get to spend the entire day with them because for some reason my wife drove to LA with her brother to pick me up thinking that Abu Usaama wasn’t going to pick me up at the airport - while I clearly told them that I was being picked up by Abu Usaama lol. Abu Usaama drives horribly masha’Allah . May Allah rectify his driving skills and give him a happy life amin! It was great meeting the bros though and spending some quality time with them barak Allahu lahumaa.

I went with my mother in law, who thinks I am an awesome husband and father for some reason, my sister in law and my brother in law - though he drove to tijuana - to the San Diego zoo. It was awesome! It is the biggest and coolest zoo I have ever been to, and I have been to many! The kids loved it as well.

My trip to Mexico

After we went to the zoo we decided to go to Tijuana and taste the cuisine as well as visit my brother in law’s girlfriend whose mother is my mother in laws good friend. At first we ate tacos - mexican style. !Dios Mio! They were fabulous. I believe I ate about 5 or 6 of them. We went to the store and bought some medicines that cost a fortune in the US - you don’t even need a prescription! Then we visited the girlfriend and family.

They live in a horridly poor neighborhood. I truly hadn’t seen poverty like that before. It was horrible. It definitely made me thank Allah ta’alaa for what I had. I honestly don’t know how they survive in Tijuana. The cost of everything equals the American costs, yet the salaries there are ridiculously low.  

So, as we left, we were detained for 5 hours by the imperialist American government. I was handcuffed, yelled at, harassed etc. My children were scared, my wife searched, you get the picture. It was very traumatic. Basically the officer told me that we had no rights and he could hold us for 72 hours without explanation. In fact, they released us without explanation! Nothing! Nada!

So I am working on sueing them for not giving my son the medical attention he needed, as well as mental anguish. We’ll see how that works out though. I ended up missing my flight, having to reschedule and spending 8 hours in the hospital due to my son being sick. Alhamdulilah!

School has started and I will be taking finite math - sucks, Espanol - awesome, History - cool. Insha’Allah the semester will go smoothly.

What I Have Learned

I have learned in the past few weeks that I connect my spirituality to my relationship with my wife. If my relationship with her is sound, my eemaan is sound. If it sucks, them my level of eeman sucks. It shocks, as well as scares, me that we are so interconnected.  ”They are a garment for you” has meaning for those who reflect.

I am alone with  my birds. They watch every move I make, sing beautiful songs of jubilation upon seeing me, and even beg me for attention and love. In my loneliness, I have started discussing serious issues with Kenji, my African Grey. He usually just stares at me, or shakes his red tail. Occassionally he will say, “Okay!”, and continue giving me the “eye” - glaring at me to see what my next move will be. He shakes his head no when he tastes things he doesn’t like. I gave him some garlic and onions today, as I was cooking myself some Chicken Korma Curry, and he enjoyed it - though refused to taste it a second time.

I was telling him about “Rafa’ Yadayn”  today. He didn’t seem to amused, though he listened attentively. I now understand why some intellectual women prefer birds to their husbands. They listen attentively - and I’m referring to the birds.

As I was washing the dishes, clearly a job for women, my green-cheek conure came up and attacked my foot. OUCH! My big toe is still swollen! The next time he tried, I decided to play the game with him. He was fast, but I overcame him speed - for I am faster than lightening, quicker than Batman, and slower than my green cheek conure Habibi who nailed my foot once more! So, why does he attack my foot? I’m not sure but I think he likes the game and attention. We played 10 times at least - it was fun! If I had my camera I would tape it, but my wife in her overzelousness to take pictures of California, stole my only digital camera! So for now you will have to imagine Abul Layth being chased by a little green cheek conure around the kitchen.

They are my friends. Beautiful and oh so full of energy!

The following article is science at its most obvious.

My thoughts before hand:

A) The power of lowering the gaze.

B) The effects of not doing so can be severe, especially in decision making.

C) Men’s liberation. When men succumb to the plots of women, they lose their mental capacity to subdue their nafs and defeat their hawaa. The solution to solving the problem of men being idiots: Islam!

Science proves that bikinis turn men into boobs

You may have known this all along, but now it has been demonstrated scientifically: bikinis make men stupid.

Continued

Years ago, when I became Muslim and began attending the madrasah, I met one of the sons of the Imam of the community, whose name was Khadir. He was a bright young man, whose aspirations seemed endless. Though we had few discussions, his kind and smiling demeanor impacted me positively. In one of our discussions I asked him what his major would be at Indiana University and he told me he intended to go into medicine. As he was attending, he got into a fight with some white students - so I was told - and later was sent to prison for I think a couple of years - I am uncertain.

When he was released, he was totally different man. I remember very clearly that his demeanor changed, he became ‘inward’. He would stay with his father in the masjid, but something wasn’t right. I tried several times to talk to him, only to be avoided. I was puzzled. What happened to the young man who was so kind, had great akhlaaq, and was part of a family that was very loving? I recall one day I had just missed the jama’ah in the masjid, as did khadir, and we made Salah together. After Salah I saw an opportunity to converse. ‘So how are you?’ I asked. ‘Ok’. Khadir says as if he doesn’t want to talk. Khadir, you remember those times we shot some hoops and so and so got schooled? *He smiles* - and without saying a word, walks off with salams. Just like that! Nothing more!

It wasn’t but a few months later he killed a security officer at a local university here.

You can read the story here: http://www.theindychannel.com/news/3758076/detail.html#

I admit that I go to that site sometimes just to look at his picture, just to see his face again. The picture does not do him justice however. He always smiled. This man was not close to me by any means. It is his story, however, that has penetrated my innermost. I simply can not move on from this incident. It has been four years, yet, at random moments I still see him sitting in the corner of the masjid, looking ‘out of place’, as if he were not even there at all. This was a young man who attended an Islamic school, started by his very own mother. His family upstanding, as was he. Yet, in only a wink into time, everything about him changed. Gone!

Some may be reading this and asking why did he do what he did…Well I know why! His mind and spirit were broken. He could no longer think rationally, for his mind felt betrayed, abandoned for so long as he stay in prison without the company he previously had. His mind felt out of place as it entered the “real” realm again.

Or maybe something happened to him in prison that he never told anyone about - which I think is the most possible reason. Maybe he had PTSD…

I’m not certain how to get the rest of my thoughts and feelings expressed in this post. There is so much I want to say, so many theories my mind has concocted over these years since it occured. Though there is a principle I draw from all of this: The mind is incredibly fragile. All of us think we are sane - even if we jokingly say we aren’t. What I saw, in a matter of months, was a man wanting to become a doctor, turning into a paranoid, out of place, traumitised man - a beaten Muslim - broken by the ’system’.

In truth, I am not certain his story will ever stop haunting my mind. In every attempt I make to rationalise this incident, I only find myself affirming the fact that Allah is truly the only one in control. It is His decision to do with us what he wants. You think you are rational, stable in mind and faith, yet in moments all that you work so hard for, all that you ‘are’ is stripped from you…

That’s it. Its over…Just like that!

A patient I was with today who has cancer was hallucinating. They took their hand and began reaching for the ceiling. I asked them what they were reaching for, they didn’t answer…Again I asked…then they said, ‘I am reaching for life’.

For life I am reaching

clinging, hoping

yet the more I reach for it

the more it keeps slipping away

Realizing its all not worth it

Realizing “life” is only worth living for The Eternal

Not Worth Living for the mundane!

I think I am anti-social, a true invert. I do not like being around people, save for people I like to be around. I’m not certain as to why. I think my mother is the same way, it is certainly possible I either “inherited” or “learned” such behavior from her. I have a hard time being around people at the masjid. For example, last time I went to the masjid, some “brother” started an argument with me about the view that the drinks in the arab lands that contain a small alcohol content are permitted. He argued that it was najaasah, and you can probably see where the discussion left of at. Khamr = intoxicant etc.

Continued

I am not endowed with the genious of Averroes or Imam Al-Ghazali. I am, however, not as stupid as George Bush or the neo-cons of the US of Amerika. On occassion I find myself grasping a fiqh issue so well that I am stunned that I grasped it as quick as I could. When I was taking philosophy class at the Uni last year, I had incredible epiphanies, so many in fact, that I once stayed after class debating the professor and a brown noser. I am not lying, by Allah , when I tell you that the professor and student conceded defeat. What was the issue you ask! I don’t remember! That is because my epiphanies occur suddenly. I will grasp an issue so well, and then, just as quick as I grasped it, I have forgotten its worth. I am not sure why my mind has these moments of “exhale”, but it may be because I have so much running through my mind. So many thoughts, so many debates.

On occassion my wife will be talking to me about a subject, and in the 5 minutes she has informed me of the issue at hand, I have worked it out, brought forth the evidences, and moved to the next topic, then come to my senses when my wife says ‘ were you even listening ! ‘.

I become overly frustrated with people who do not grasp topics that I grasped such a long time ago. Why is it that people do not read? Why do they not LISTEN to the fine points of a debate?

I know this is sounding rather conceited, arrogant even. It is not though. I admit there are many issues I can not grasp. Many I am overwhelmed by. A fine example of this is the dimension of time. For years now, I have attempted my utmost to understand the arguments set forth by the physicists, yet - my mind can not fully appreciate their claims.

I find myself impatient with idiots. Why should I have to repeat myself 10 times before they get it? Or why is that when the proofs clearly crush the argument of an opponent, they still cling to their baseless views? Ego? Maybe! Or, if I open my mind, maybe I will see that their argument is possibly stronger. Maybe, they are thinking it is I that am ’slow’ or idiotic.

Do I care though? No. For I am right, when I am right, and I am wrong when I am wrong. I, yes me, can determine when I am right or wrong! Or can I? What “checks and balances” are there to objectively allow me to self-determine whether or not I am right or wrong? Others’ views you say? Must I listen to such boobs? Save me the quarrel!

I recently came across an aayah that moved me. I have contemplated it for a few days now. It haunts me in my moments of silence. In fact, when I was at work, I could not get it off my mind.

Allah says,

???? ?????? ?? ???? ??? ??? ?????? ??? ???? ???? ????? ??? ???? ??? ???? ???????

“He granteth wisdom to whom He pleaseth; and he to whom wisdom is granted receiveth indeed a benefit overflowing; but none will grasp the Message but men of understanding.”

Mujaahid, the student of Ibn ‘Abbas, defines hikmah here as: “the Qur’an, Knowledge, and understanding [fiqh].”

Ibrahim An-Nakha’i states, “It is the knowing (ma’rifah) of the meaning of things, and understanding them.” [Tafsir Al-Baghawi]“He granteth wisdom to whom He pleaseth; and he to whom wisdom is granted receiveth indeed a benefit overflowing; but none will grasp the Message but men of understanding.”

Hikmah - wisdom. What is wisdom? The understanding of knowledge. To understand the texts, apply them in their proper context. Or is it? Some authorities say it refers  to nubuwwah - the cloak of prophethood. Oh how I wish it did not mean such in this verse. I want it to mean fiqh. I want it to be Allah telling us that He chooses who he wants to grant knowledge and understanding. It calms my anger towards idiots. I now simply look at them with sympathy. I truly feel sorry for people who “just don’t get it”. Its not entirely their faults they are so stupid. Allah made them that way for a reason, maybe to try those who are brighter with patience and tolerance. 

Or It is possible that I “just don’t get it”. My enemies from amongst the scum pseudo-salafis would certainly argue such, but we will leave them to their god of limbs and place. We will leave them to their religion of Pharoah! Oh God what idiots they are! How laced with tajsim is their da’wah, and they are so blind as to not see it. Or are they truly blind? Maybe, they fear the repercussions of apostating from such an idiotic creed. They fear friends, and peer pressure. I know several “salafis” who hesitate or are “closet” Asha’ris for fear of the consequences. Sincerity?

So Allah grants to whomever He wants “Hikmah”. Granted! Not earned! So no matter how many times you beat them up the head with the proof-stick, they will still be ignorant enough to reject such! Why? Because Allah did not grant them Hikmah.

So as the irhabis kidnap children, or bomb marketplaces, what do they not have?

A brother was barking the other day that Imam Al-Buti once said, “Fiqh before fikr (contemplation, etc).”

Fiqh - understanding. To understand the law, a pre-condition for acting. What is missing in this whole world of idiocy and tyranny? Hikmah! The understanding of knowledge. That is just my opinion though, and I could be wrong.

-Abul Layth

Lightning bolts appear above and around the Chaiten volcano as seen from Chana, some 30 kms (19 miles) north of the volcano, as it began its first eruption in thousands of years, in southern Chile May 2, 2008. Cases of electrical storms breaking out directly above erupting volcanoes are well documented, although scientists differ on what causes them. Picture taken May 2, 2008. REUTERS/Carlos Gutierrez (CHILE)

SubhanAllah! You have to click the picture.

Things can get better. Nearly all things are possible if one seeks Allah ’s aid. Remember, it is through faith the pagan empires of old fell to the feet of a few poor ‘arabs screaming Allah ! I had a dream tonight that I was giving a khutbah, standing on the minbar, blasting Muslims for their cynicism towards life. Yes, I said, we are down! Not down in numbers for sure, but down in faith. Mountains we could move if we could only see reality for what it truly is. If we could only grasp the Real and abandon the frivolous pursuits of the mundane. If we could surpass childish playground mentalities of racism and prejudice, and cling to the message of the last Messenger.

 Hope, my dear brethren - as I continued the khutbah - is not a negative quality. It is a part of our eemaan. It is not just a vision imparted upon us from the great disciples of Muhammad, their followers, or even the legions of Mamlooks who defeated the invading pagans. It should run through us as love for Allah and his Rasul run through our veins. It should be ever constant.

Even when the chaos ensues at the end of time, and the hour arrives knocking at our door, our beloved Messenger told us “If the hour (as-saa’ah, i.e. the day of judgment) is established upon you and in your hand is a plant, if you are able, do not stand until you have planted it into the ground.”

Plant today brethren before it is to late! Make your garden now, not tomorrow! Have hope and Allah will grant you what you seek!

I’ve been feeling pretty weak lately. Not sure why. Possible reasons:

a) stress

b) possible depression

c) not doing well on my increased dhikr motto

 I suppose if I just stuck to salads I could cure my problem. But, I think this all stems around how ungrateful I am. Alhamdulilah, and I mean it, that I have what I have. I think it is easy for people to overlook even the smallest of blessings considering it all “everyday” stuff. Same ol’ same ol’. I remember when I was driving to California and travelled through the hellish desert; I didn’t see green for half the trip. If I did see green it was “brownish” in nature. It was only then did I learn to appreciate the true “green” of Indiana. The green I had been raised around all of my life.

What I am getting at is that in order for one to truly be grateful, sometimes it has to be taken away. I hope I become grateful before such occurs…

Bismillah, and Salamu ‘Alaykum

Let me first state that the flight to London sucked! Delta cancelled my flight from Indianapolis to Charlotte so we had to wait longer to get a flight, which in turn made us LITERALLY run in the charlotte airport just to catch our London flight. So after all of the running etc, we get seated on Delta’s international flight to London. The seats were so close I was choking. Upon arriving at Gatwick airport we entered the UK with absolutely no troubles. It was smooth, almost tooooo smooth! It then took us a few minutes to figure out how to use the rail. Once that issue was solved I boarded the train. I sat next to an elderly gentleman. Being the curious American Muslim that I am, and a bit politically savy, I begun by asking this man all sorts of questions. “Sir”, I said in a question-like voice, “Don’t you feel that ‘big brother’ is watching every move you make?” Cameras are everywhere, I stated. The gentleman responds with, “I have nothing to worry about! I didn’t do anything, so I don’t mind my government recording my moves. Besides - he states - they just recently caught some drug traffickers by using these cameras. Its making my country safe, he exclaims!

 Then I asked, “Do you trust your government?” To which he replied without hesitation, “Absolutely!” I was shocked! I had heard that other “western” nations trusted their governments, but never actually met someone who did. I questioned him further regarding the the tories and the labor parties. It shocked me that the tories, a party considered “conservative”, were actually so much like the democrats of America. So after harassing him some more concerning the costs of england, my questions ended, for the train arrived! I thanked him politely and off we went, directly into London.

Again, the first thing I noticed were police and security cameras everywhere. A ubiquitous symbol of a police state. We decided to take a cab to the Hotel room, Best Western downtown. The hotel was planted perfectly in London. Right next to the “arab-Muslim” street, Edgeware road, and close to all of the sights to see.

Continued